I'm such a fuckin failure, did you know?

It's okay for people to hate me, but it's never okay for them to target my friends. Oh wait, mistake there, my close friends I mean. It hurts so friggin much, but I know that it's not my fault.

Breathe in, and adknowledge the fact. It is not my fault. Still I feel a little devilish voice telling me all my faults, how I caused everything, how I should've just sucked it up, smiled and bitched about myself. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that it's time I need help. I'm the victim, for once. No one sees that, I think. Is it such an usual sight? Am I so strong? I doubt. Alot.

And so here I am, admitting that i'm weak. Letting all of you laugh your arses off because hey, this is what you wanted. This is my defeat, this is your victory, this is how you wanted to isolate me, this is how you wanted your clique to be. Come, smile, and laugh, and raise your hands and celebrate why don't you? Gloat, at my misery. Poke fun at my pain, and be happy until you enter the grave cause i'm broken.

Heartbroken.

Whoooooosh, hiatus on Blogger till I feel like it(:

School seriously sucks balls. Damn, I hate waking up early. Taking a toll on my mood. Plus, the bitches are there and Y's crazily beyond my reach. Heh, jkjk. I'm just annoyed beyond annoyed. Anyway, going shopping with A tomorrow:D

I wonder why our clique has so many secrets which aren't secret-material. It doesn't feel good to you know, be so exclusive. How mysterious. But I can only sulk at the side, yeah.

I don't know what to do from now on. What's my purpose in life? To meet and like people? Uh, no please. I hate liking people. Bothers everything else- my skin, my eyes, my hair, my mood, my teeth, etc. And why/how it happens so much, I have no fcking idea.

Speaking of which, I met the handsomest guy i've ever seen while crossing the overhead bridge at PP. Whoooots he was hotter than hot, hotter than Brad Pitt plus Keanu Reeves plus everyone, seriously. Dirty blond hair with gold highlights, very blue with a tinge of green eyes and very, very well balanced and pronounced facial features. What the hell, I've lost my chance of having the hottest kids in town by not asking for his God-damned number. No male should be blessed with such good looks.

And omg, the way he stared at me, I could've just melted into a puddle of goo. His eyes are really fcking dreamy. So deep and so blue! Shit shit shit shit shit): Hot AND smart American boys are in a class of their own. Why was his family thereD: Nvm, hopefully we have some sort of fate.

I don't throw myself at every good looking person. It's only the MOST good looking person with some intelligence and the well, nice people. Who don't try too hard but seem to get what they want and be happy. I like people who don't try so desperately(: 'Passionately' is another thing though.

Gonna talk to B/sleep(: Tc y'all.

Ambiguity.

It'll be a mistake to say that I don't care. Yet it feels as though you're insignificant. Don't know, don't care anymore. I need to relearn the meaning of Hope. Anyway, I seriously need to sort out my thoughts before they come out the wrong way from my mouth. I'm so confuzzled, I could probably mistake a cow for a donkey.

I'm beggin' you to be my escape.

Noisy world.

If I told you that I fall for her more everytime she smiles, does her little shrugs, avoids the topic, laughs, acts strong, pwns me, loses her temper, talks to me, and says that she's trying hard,

would you believe me?

Okay this thang is super dead, I swear. But someone sorta revived my memory so here I am, again. I really need to focus on the right stuff. Like, the fat Os. And i'm really, sincerely over T- even though I said that one year ago. It's... heartening to know that the world isn't such a small place. And T's not the only humanoid with all features intact and a brain of decent intelligence, I'm sure. You'll always be a part of me.

I'm gonna miss Y lots! Although we've never said a proper sentence to each other, unrealistically enough(: Score well on monday and we'll never see each other again.

As for you, I think falling for you means falling for your inner being and charm which might not necessarily mean that we're anything more than friends. Don't read too much into it(; Everyone has little obsessions once in a while.

Anyway, meet my cats. One's "The Small One" and the other is "The Big One". They're siblings, borne by the same mum and hopefully the same dad. Two of them plus the mum ran off a couple of years ago actually. So meet the cats that used to be mine. They're so naughty that I swear it's irresistably adorable(:

I'm not sure why either, but Imy.

Everytime you laugh, I can afford to sing one song less.

POOL TODAY WAS OMG FUN:D

i won samuel! for once. ryan came in LAST:D haha. you nooooooob. heehee.

amath paper today's a goner. feel the marks seeping away already. geog paper was completed in half an hour, and with the remaining one hour, i wrote a letter. haha. i think i might be mad.

i hope someone's COUGH is better now. it's not pus or anything you know. you need a biology lesson:D can't wait till tmr, cause we're gonna buy DONUTS! and tgif.

i want to score for tmr's bio paperrrrrr. rawr. and i think someone's angry with me):